She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
