In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
