I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
