I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
