if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
