You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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