Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
