Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
