the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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