If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
