her vagina looked like bernie madoff
accomplished twins. life is a go
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
