yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
pray to the hookup gods
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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