I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
