We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
