let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
