yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
