so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
