You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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