Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
