If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
