I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
