Yo dont text me then not text me
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize
