Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
