I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
