No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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