i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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