well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
