we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
