I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
