I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
