You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize