There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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