wrigley field is MILF paradise
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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