I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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