seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
