C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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