im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
