i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
