walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
