So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
