a queef is a wish your heart makes.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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