just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
