My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
