hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
