Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
