what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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