Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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