woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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