We got so high we made milksteak
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
