Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
it's like heaven, but drunker
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
What drink are we having for lunch?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
