Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
