The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
