Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
