Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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