they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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