we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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