you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize