How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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