i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
