The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
