just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
