All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Randomize
