Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
