Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
