2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
