This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
