im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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