Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Randomize
