there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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