the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
