he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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