She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
