She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
