that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
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